This is a very scary word for people who are about to commit to a weight loss program. I know because I hear the fear all of the time. My new clients implore me to
tell them that they will lose weight without feeling hunger pangs, and I get
that. However, you need to understand that what you perceive as hunger is
not what you think it is. Bear with me for a minute and let’s explore the
sensation you label as “hunger.”

What, I wonder, do you experience when you say that you are hungry? For instance, when I feel hungry, I feel… well…hungry. My stomach sometimes growls, and I
experience a sort of empty feeling that tells me it’s time to eat
something.

Now your turn: When I feel hungry, I feel ______________?

My clients fill in this blank with words that sound nothing like mine. I had a client once casually say to me that if she had to eat smaller portions she would “turn into a bear” and her family might leave her. I
had to explain to her, over many sessions, that simple hunger was not the
larger issue. For her, hunger gave rise
to major emotions. One was anger, and we needed to explore why she was angry.
Why did the lack, or emptiness, within her bring up anger? Why did it turn her into a bear?

So, when I encourage my clients to go a bit deeper to describe what they experience, they are able, with some effort, to speak of feelings on a more visceral level. These
feelings exist deep within us and we feel them physically in our stomachs. Coincidence?
Is the gnawing feeling we have in our gut, which we perceive as hunger, really
the emptiness we feel within our selves? Does the fruitless attempt to fill the void
with food make the real emotions come up tenfold, tempting us to eat more,
since we have no intention of dealing with them now?

My clients’ answers gradually become more telling. They feel sad, deprived, angry, lonely, abandoned, anxious, and unloved. Well, this surely differs from what I experience as hunger, which is a physical sensation in my stomach! Interesting. Nobody ever reports feeling the simple
physical sensation of a growling stomach. So, I must ask: Are you eating because you feel hunger, or because something else is
going on?

While I would love to be able to tell you that you don’t have to be hungry to lose weight, I cannot honestly do so. Here is the truth about hunger: If you want to lose
weight, you must experience hunger. I’m sorry.
However, you will not feel
hungry all of the time. Does that
help? Good. I can also tell you that you will rarely feel very hungry, and you will never, ever feel as if you were
starving!

Okay, so the truth is out. Now that we have acknowledged it, we can discuss it without fear. Simply put, the time to experience the physical sensation of hunger is just before going to bed at night. By bedtime, you should feel as if you
could have had a bit more to eat. You should feel just about satisfied, but not
quite.

You see, the way you feel at night is the key to controlling your weight loss progress. For instance, if you go to bed feeling stuffed for 3 or 4 consecutive nights, the outcome of that feeling will be
weight gain. If you feel satisfied for 3 or 4 consecutive nights, the
outcome will be maintenance. And, if you feel a little bit hungry for 3 or 4 consecutive
nights, the outcome will be weight loss! Therefore, if you monitor how you feel
before going to sleep, the number on the scale will never again be a mystery.
You will never again get on, fingers crossed, hoping to have lost weight. You
will know what the number will be because the scale merely reflects back to you
what you have felt throughout the week. If there has been a little bit of
hunger all week, I guarantee the scale will reflect weight loss!

Wow! Can I really be bold enough to make such a guarantee? Yes, I can, because this is truly all you have to do. The question now becomes: How do you do it without feeling anxiety at the thought of feeling a just a little bit hungry? Well, that’s the rest of this story. We make it so very
difficult in our minds, when it is actually very simple. And this is where I would like to
help. I can show you how to do
this. I can be a resource for you to turn to as I break down the process
of weight loss and show you the simple steps that will bring you to your goal. Know that I always will tell
you the truth, and this is the truth.

I hope that this week you will decide to explore your experience of hunger. When you begin feeling
hungry, sit for a second and try to determine if there is an emotion rather than
a physical sensation that you are interpreting to be hunger. Are you
perhaps feeling sad, anxious, lonely, unloved and unsupported? If you are, then
that is what I want you to think about.
Focus on the emotion and journal about it. Write exactly what you are
feeling and keep writing until you understand that you are not physically
hungry, that food is not what you crave. After a few journal entries, I’m
certain you will discover that it’s usually not hunger that you’re feeling.

But what if it is actually hunger? You might want to ask. Ah! If it really is, then I want you to say to yourself,
Good!
That’s the way I am supposed to feel if I want to lose weight! I need to
feel a little bit hungry every night to get the results that I am looking for.

Embrace the sensation! Let it empower you! This is not deprivation! You are not being abandoned! This does not mean that no one loves you!! It’s simply you making the choice to feel that physical
sensation and tolerate it for the purpose of bettering yourself. This is a gift
you give yourself: a gift of love, and of strength, and of perseverance, and of
the occasional grumbling stomach! From
now on, if your stomach grumbles, smile!

So, let me ask you again: What does hunger feel like?

Ah. Your answer is correct: It feels like weight loss!!