Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ashlee Hardin on October 18, 2009 at 12:57pm

Thanks Dee!! I'll definatly try that!!!
I gotta get through to her somehow....<3

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Permalink Reply by Jenny Bee on October 18, 2009 at 7:57pm

I think Dee's advice is excellent. My best friend and I used to be rotten to each other when we lived together. I was a good friend of the family's. Her brother, her and I could be absolutely bogus to each other though we loved each other extraordinarilly. i think it had to do with time and making sure everyone in the family gets the same amount of attention or people will start getting jealous. Try giving her enough space but making sure she notices that you notice her and think she's awesome. hope this helps.

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Permalink Reply by Ashlee Hardin on October 25, 2009 at 12:44pm

thanks guy. she hasnt been home in a couple days. but im hoping things start to turn around. i hate not have a relationship with her. when i can have one with my cousins. its kinda upsetting. but ill let you know how things turn out. <3 thanks

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Permalink Reply by Megan Schurtz on November 1, 2009 at 2:45am

I went through the exact same situation. My little sister used to be so innocent and all of a sudden she turned into this little devil. lol but in all seriousness she liked to randomly punch me in the stomach and say "whatever, i hate you" Like you I also try and be nice to her but nothing seems to get through to her. So I just one day sat her down outside by ourselves away from any distractions and told just simply asked her what is her problem with me all of a sudden and she really just ended up telling me that she was jealous of how I get to go out longer and hang out with friends and all that immature things. I talked it out and let her know that i was there to always talked too. Maybe you should sit her down. I wish the best luck to you. keep us updated on how things go.

-Megan.

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Permalink Reply by Ashlee Hardin on November 4, 2009 at 9:02pm

hey megan, thanks for the advice, but in all honest i've already tried it.
she won't tell me why she's got the hatred against me though. which is the worst part.
like yesterday my parents, her, and i all went out to our local applebess for dinner. and it would have been a great night, if everything i said, wasn't put down by her. i couldn't joke, tell a story, or even order the right meal, without being critised. it was horrible. we sat at the bar too, and i think the people surrounding us were definatly getting annoyed because although she was being miserable towards me, i tried to talk it out, but she would just not yell but say very loudly shut up, your retared. or i hate you. its embarassing. :/

Megan Schurtz said:

I went through the exact same situation. My little sister used to be so innocent and all of a sudden she turned into this little devil. lol but in all seriousness she liked to randomly punch me in the stomach and say "whatever, i hate you" Like you I also try and be nice to her but nothing seems to get through to her. So I just one day sat her down outside by ourselves away from any distractions and told just simply asked her what is her problem with me all of a sudden and she really just ended up telling me that she was jealous of how I get to go out longer and hang out with friends and all that immature things. I talked it out and let her know that i was there to always talked too. Maybe you should sit her down. I wish the best luck to you. keep us updated on how things go.

-Megan.

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Permalink Reply by Angel on November 10, 2009 at 11:27am

In the cases I have seen it's been about jealousy. You are older so you get to do more than she does. Try not to discuss too much of the fun you had while knowing she isn't allowed to just go and have fun as you can. As one suggested perhaps find things that isn't childish for you,but isn't too mature for her to do together. If that doesn't work then perhaps your parents need to address her and get to the bottom of her acting up.

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Permalink Reply by Ashlee Hardin on November 11, 2009 at 1:39pm

I've tried not talking about things I've done in front of her. I've tried including her in things. We've even all gone out to dinner as a family, and I was embarassed because me, my mom, and dad were having a conversation, and she just started telling us how retarded our conversation was and how much she hated me. we were in public all haveing a good time, and laugh, and still she found a way to ruin it, and make a scene. thats the worst part, was that everyone around us just kinda kept staring at us like WTF, OMG. I didnt know what todo, sooo.... :/ we just kinda all stopped talking and had akward silence.
My parents cant address her either because she doesnt listen. I thought about putting her on World's Strictest Parents. lol Which is mean to say, but I can't take much more of this, it's getting soo depressing. And I can't even be around her, and say hi, without a "bitchy" remark or a "i hate you" or "your too old to live at home, and you need to move out, noone wants you here" I'm 19 years old, I dont think I'm to old to still be at home, but in return, I could and would move out, if I had a a reliable job. And I'm trying sooo hard to find one thats full time, but this day and age, puh-lease its almost impossible.

ok, sorry that turned more into a personal complaint post. lol
but i've tried everything. it's bad to say, but she needs therapy, and i dont know how to make anyone see it, and the ones that do see she needs it, dont know what todo to get her help.

thanks everyone!/
i'm gunna keep on trying.

Mrs Coleman said:

In the cases I have seen it's been about jealousy. You are older so you get to do more than she does. Try not to discuss too much of the fun you had while knowing she isn't allowed to just go and have fun as you can. As one suggested perhaps find things that isn't childish for you,but isn't too mature for her to do together. If that doesn't work then perhaps your parents need to address her and get to the bottom of her acting up.

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Permalink Reply by Julie Harman on January 15, 2010 at 11:56pm

Well, I'm the mother of 18 and 20 year olds and here's my opinion. It is all about jealousy. She doesn't want you in the house because then she can have mommy and daddy all to herself. Well, that's not reality and you are not to old to be living at home. Stay there as long as you can. The real world is expensive. Families should stay together longer, I think there would be a lot less of kids having to move back home if they didn't jump out of the nest too soon. Your sister will grow up in time. You really need to know that her anger isn't really about you at all. It's some kind of self-hatred that she is directing at you. In my opinion, the best thing to do is to ignore her. When she starts acting out, leave her presence saying, "when you can act decently I'll be back". You can't kill a 15 year old with kindness. FYI: I couldn't stand any of the 4 kids I raised between the ages of 11-15. Once they spend a little time in high school them mellow out. Their peers won't stand for their crap. I think the 2 of you will have an amazing relationship as soon as she figures out that she doesn't need to compete with you. She couldn't stand that you and your parents were having a discussion that wasn't about her. She'll get over it but if I were your parent...I would punish her for inappropriate behavior and NOT take her out in public...they 3 of you should go and leave her home. That would fix her little red wagon.

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Permalink Reply by Dede on January 16, 2010 at 12:02am

I agree Julie. I work with the public...selling furniture, so I deal with a lot of recent "empty nesters" and soon to bes. You would be surprised how many want to see their children move out!

Julie Harman said:

Well, I'm the mother of 18 and 20 year olds and here's my opinion. It is all about jealousy. She doesn't want you in the house because then she can have mommy and daddy all to herself. Well, that's not reality and you are not to old to be living at home. Stay there as long as you can. The real world is expensive. Families should stay together longer, I think there would be a lot less of kids having to move back home if they didn't jump out of the nest too soon. Your sister will grow up in time. You really need to know that her anger isn't really about you at all. It's some kind of self-hatred that she is directing at you. In my opinion, the best thing to do is to ignore her. When she starts acting out, leave her presence saying, "when you can act decently I'll be back". You can't kill a 15 year old with kindness. FYI: I couldn't stand any of the 4 kids I raised between the ages of 11-15. Once they spend a little time in high school them mellow out. Their peers won't stand for their crap. I think the 2 of you will have an amazing relationship as soon as she figures out that she doesn't need to compete with you. She couldn't stand that you and your parents were having a discussion that wasn't about her. She'll get over it but if I were your parent...I would punish her for inappropriate behavior and NOT take her out in public...they 3 of you should go and leave her home. That would fix her little red wagon.

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Permalink Reply by Julie Harman on January 16, 2010 at 12:15am

That is so sad. They can't live with the monsters they created. I encourage my boys to stay home as long as they can. But I don't "mama" them anymore either. There has to be a transition period before they head out to learn everything the hard way.

Dede said:

I agree Julie. I work with the public...selling furniture, so I deal with a lot of recent "empty nesters" and soon to bes. You would be surprised how many want to see their children move out!

Julie Harman said:

Well, I'm the mother of 18 and 20 year olds and here's my opinion. It is all about jealousy. She doesn't want you in the house because then she can have mommy and daddy all to herself. Well, that's not reality and you are not to old to be living at home. Stay there as long as you can. The real world is expensive. Families should stay together longer, I think there would be a lot less of kids having to move back home if they didn't jump out of the nest too soon. Your sister will grow up in time. You really need to know that her anger isn't really about you at all. It's some kind of self-hatred that she is directing at you. In my opinion, the best thing to do is to ignore her. When she starts acting out, leave her presence saying, "when you can act decently I'll be back". You can't kill a 15 year old with kindness. FYI: I couldn't stand any of the 4 kids I raised between the ages of 11-15. Once they spend a little time in high school them mellow out. Their peers won't stand for their crap. I think the 2 of you will have an amazing relationship as soon as she figures out that she doesn't need to compete with you. She couldn't stand that you and your parents were having a discussion that wasn't about her. She'll get over it but if I were your parent...I would punish her for inappropriate behavior and NOT take her out in public...they 3 of you should go and leave her home. That would fix her little red wagon.

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Permalink Reply by Elyse Nicole on January 17, 2010 at 7:48am

My sister and I fought all our live - and I played the mean one just as often as she did. W are two years apart and were never close. We ha opposite friend groups and everything. That all changed hen I moved to college. We missed each other and when I visited home we dis eeverything together. Now I live in Maryland and she is in NY still and it's hard because we realized how much we need ech other.
I am sure once your life takes off and you are on your own or in school somewhere things will change. Baicalky you've been stuck together for 15 years and, no offense to either of you, you need a break. It's that old saying: you don't know what you've got til it's gone... And she's 15 which is like the peak of moodiness I think (trust me I teach them). Wait til she matures more. ;-)

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Permalink Reply by Tammy Conatser on February 27, 2010 at 1:54am

trust me, you're not the only one. i had the same problem when i was growing up, but i was the baby sister dealing with a mean older one, and i now have 4 kids and my 7 yr old is like that with my 13 yr old, and she feels the same way that you do. all i can say is to try talking to her, seeing what she likes to do and make more sister time doing her stuff so that she sees that you are making an effort and hopefully it'll lessen up some and she'll come around and see what a great prize she has as a sister!

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