Diva Cafe

Women's Networking and Social Community

Hi Divas,
I hope everyone's doing well so far this week.

As a freelance writer and a woman, who's striving to understand relationships better, I hope you'll be okay with me asking your opinions at times. I'm enjoying the Diva Cafe and am glad that so many women can bond in this cyber format. Thanks Dede!!!

I wrote an article yesterday on the subject of "threesomes" for couples. Someone commented, because he or she was offended by what I said. Help me out here, Divas...

Question: How do you feel about "threesomes?" Would you feel comfortable sharing your man with another woman? Thank you in advance for chiming in.

Try this: http://www.examiner.com/x-2930-Denver-Womens-Relationship-Examiner~...

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I would never personally want to be a part of a "threesome" . Not interested in sharing but I am not judgemental. I have seen other people I know become entangled in this type of arrangement and it has never turned out well. In fact, in both circumstances, the results were devastating.

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Hi Dede,
Always a pleasure to hear from you! I concur. Same for me, I've seen the results of people trying to play that field and in almost every situation, they lost. Additionally, it was usually initiated by the man in the relationship. I'm working on getting that darned link to work. Thank you Diva!

Dede said:
I would never personally want to be a part of a "threesome" . Not interested in sharing but I am not judgemental. I have seen other people I know become entangled in this type of arrangement and it has never turned out well. In fact, in both circumstances, the results were devastating.

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Doesn't work Karen. Send me an email with your site url and instructions how to find it and I will post it for you lol.

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Darned it! Here's the url: I hope it works this time. http://www.examiner.com/x-2930-Denver-Womens-Relationship-Examiner~...

Dede said:
Doesn't work Karen. Send me an email with your site url and instructions how to find it and I will post it for you lol.

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Wow, what a post for me to reply to as my first post. LOL. I have been part of a couple of threesomes. No, it's not all it's dreamed to be (for me anyway). In both situations, I found myself wanting it to just be done with so I could be with one of the partners alone. I used to be very judgemental and probably would have said it was horrible thing to do, but life changed me. Now, I believe if it is consenting adults with NO SECRETS about this, then it's really no ones business but the people involved. As for sharing my man with another woman, I've been lucky enough that I haven't had to face that part yet. Mine were 2 men and I.

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Hi Donna,
Thanks for the reply to this post. It's such an interesting subject, and I seek the opinions of others so I don't sound like such a prude. Well, also because I'd rather that couples practice responsible ways of having fun. It's too risky to do things they're not actually ready for. Communication is VITAL, you're right. Best to you Diva Donna.

Donna said:
Wow, what a post for me to reply to as my first post. LOL. I have been part of a couple of threesomes. No, it's not all it's dreamed to be (for me anyway). In both situations, I found myself wanting it to just be done with so I could be with one of the partners alone. I used to be very judgemental and probably would have said it was horrible thing to do, but life changed me. Now, I believe if it is consenting adults with NO SECRETS about this, then it's really no ones business but the people involved. As for sharing my man with another woman, I've been lucky enough that I haven't had to face that part yet. Mine were 2 men and I.

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Karen,

I would not at this point in my life do that. I have two children and feel as though my responsibility is to them. I also believe in the sanctity of marriage. However, if I were young, just dating someone, and had no children, I would possibly explore that situation.

I think if you have a threesome, great. Four, even better. If that is what your sex life includes, who am I to judge. Being brought up Roman Catholic, I am fully aware of the ramifications that come from this behavior. But as an adult, I now see things a bit different. My motto is this, if you want to sleep with someone of the same sex, great, wanna be a swinger, awesome, have a menage a troi, more power to you, but goats....well, thats another story~!

As far as sharing my man wiith someone else, who says it needs to be another girl?

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Hey Maureen,
Thanks for posting a reply to my burrrrning question. As I said, I received a particular response from someone who lives a polyamorous lifestyle and this person was fuming! I believe it was a man, but I couldn't tell by the name. This person is convinced that threesomes (or more) are normal and that monogamous couples are self righteous, jealous, deprived freaks!

I agree with you on the point you made about having kids and they come first. Honestly, as I wrote, I believe that if it's between total strangers and everyone's free agents, go for it. Couples I've encountered who tried threesomes met it with very bad consequences. Most times it was the man in the relationship wanting another woman. Thanks again Diva Mo!

KJ.

Maureen said:
Karen,

I would not at this point in my life do that. I have two children and feel as though my responsibility is to them. I also believe in the sanctity of marriage. However, if I were young, just dating someone, and had no children, I would possibly explore that situation.

I think if you have a threesome, great. Four, even better. If that is what your sex life includes, who am I to judge. Being brought up Roman Catholic, I am fully aware of the ramifications that come from this behavior. But as an adult, I now see things a bit different. My motto is this, if you want to sleep with someone of the same sex, great, wanna be a swinger, awesome, have a menage a troi, more power to you, but goats....well, thats another story~!

As far as sharing my man wiith someone else, who says it needs to be another girl?

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No I would not be willing to shre my man.

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Hi Denise,
Thanks for the reply. That's what I've heard from most women. The guys I polled said they would love to share their woman with another woman, but not with another man. Imagine that...
Have a great weekend!

KJ.

denise said:
No I would not be willing to shre my man.

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Hey Dede,
What did you think? You know, I keep getting comments from someone who lives a polyamorous lifestyle and I'm thinking [he] feels left out. (smile)


Dede said:

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