Diva Cafe
Women's Networking and Social Community
Platonic Friends
Hey ladies,
I have a question: how do you feel about men and women being "platonic" friends? Is it possible to be "just friends" if there is an attraction between the two? Is it okay to have attractive friends of the opposite sex if you're in a committed relationship? Thank you for any comments to this question!
I have a question: how do you feel about men and women being "platonic" friends? Is it possible to be "just friends" if there is an attraction between the two? Is it okay to have attractive friends of the opposite sex if you're in a committed relationship? Thank you for any comments to this question!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dede on
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Hi Karen. I personally am not threatened by my boyfriiend having an attractive female friend. I trust him enough to make the right decisions. If I have to worry about my guy, then I don't need him:)
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Permalink Reply by Kandi on -
While I totally think it's ok to have a platonic friendship with the opposite sex, you have to be especially careful if you are attracted to this person. It's easy for trouble to accidentally find you if you're not looking for it! And also, I think you just have yourself the reasons why you wish to have a platonic friendship with this guy in the first place....an if it's not because of your attraction, then you should be fine! Just my thoughts!
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Permalink Reply by Karen Kennedy on -
Hey thanks for the replies ladies! Dede, sounds like you have a great guy, just as you said. It sometimes takes us years of kissing frogs to get to the prince. I'm so glad you have someone who respects, loves and appreciates you enough to be trustworthy.
Kandi, you're right; maybe I'm not crazy for thinking that people need to be more responsible. The attraction factor is the component that makes those kind of "friendships" taboo. Thanks again for your replies!
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I kissed frogs for 5 long years:( I finally had enough of it and refused to allow any more "bad behaviour" . Fortunately, my new guy is almost perfect:)
Karen Kennedy said:Hey thanks for the replies ladies! Dede, sounds like you have a great guy, just as you said. It sometimes takes us years of kissing frogs to get to the prince. I'm so glad you have someone who respects, loves and appreciates you enough to be trustworthy.
Kandi, you're right; maybe I'm not crazy for thinking that people need to be more responsible. The attraction factor is the component that makes those kind of "friendships" taboo. Thanks again for your replies!
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Permalink Reply by Karen Kennedy on
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You got your man when he reached "wonderful." He is past all the insecurities and ego trips and has the woman of his dreams. He's no longer trying to prove he's "still got it," and he can have a safe friendship with an attractive woman if he has one. You're blessed Dede!
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Permalink Reply by Maureen on -
I, myself, think it is possible, There can be many bumps in the road if one party is hoping for more than the other can offer. That being said, you can be platonic friends, and possibly friends with bennies. (Benefits)
When one is in a comitted relationship and finds themselves attracted to someone else, than, in my opinion, the relationship is not that solid. If no sexual energy is between you and your attractive friend, then no biggie.
I, for one, was very insecure in my previous relationships. Being faithful was difficult. I wanted to be a free spirit. When I met my husband of 12 years, I had no desires or fixations on anyone else. I knew that he was the one. I was a bit insecure of other women around him in the beginning because he is 6 years younger than I. That problem resolved itself rather quickly. I know my husband loves me and me him!
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Permalink Reply by Karen Kennedy on
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That's great Maureen! I have received very interesting responses from men. I addressed the issue in a recent article I wrote. If u get a chance, let me know what you think: http://www.examiner.com/x-2930-Denver-Womens-Relationship-Examiner~.... This is a subject I'm really interested in; actually its become a semi obsession (smile). I was on the wrong side of jealous for so long and I'm on a mission to help couples understand each other and their individual selves. Thanks so much for the reply to my post.
Maureen said:I, myself, think it is possible, There can be many bumps in the road if one party is hoping for more than the other can offer. That being said, you can be platonic friends, and possibly friends with bennies. (Benefits)
When one is in a comitted relationship and finds themselves attracted to someone else, than, in my opinion, the relationship is not that solid. If no sexual energy is between you and your attractive friend, then no biggie.
I, for one, was very insecure in my previous relationships. Being faithful was difficult. I wanted to be a free spirit. When I met my husband of 12 years, I had no desires or fixations on anyone else. I knew that he was the one. I was a bit insecure of other women around him in the beginning because he is 6 years younger than I. That problem resolved itself rather quickly. I know my husband loves me and me him!
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Permalink Reply by Maureen on
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There is one thing you will always get from me, good or bad, is an honest response. I tell it like it is. I am like the old lady on the block who says what she thinks but younger.
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Permalink Reply by Karen Kennedy on
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LOL!!!!! You go girl!
Maureen said:There is one thing you will always get from me, good or bad, is an honest response. I tell it like it is. I am like the old lady on the block who says what she thinks but younger.
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Yes, Karen, I can tell you for sure that Maureen tells it like it is:)
Karen Kennedy said:LOL!!!!! You go girl!
Maureen said:There is one thing you will always get from me, good or bad, is an honest response. I tell it like it is. I am like the old lady on the block who says what she thinks but younger.
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Permalink Reply by Barbara C. on -
If it's possible to be friends with an attractive guy? Sure, it is. But if you're attracted to him already well, then, odds aren't that good. If you find yourself attracted to a man, you no longer feel the desire to be "just friends", do you? Because deep down inside, there's a little urge to go next phase with him. Or am I so wrong? lol
You can be friends with men, I think that's perfectly possible! Friends are friends, but being attracted to other men does not mean you want to be friends with him 100%. It's like your whole body and mind are not capable to be just rational and filter just want you "think" you want. But friendship with the opposite sex? Totally possible and acceptable.
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Permalink Reply by Karen Kennedy on
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Morning Barbara!
Thanks for the reply to my post. Sure it's possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex. The issues arise when one or the other of the two friends is in a committed relationship. I've polled men on this very subject and you wouldn't believe some of the answers I received! Wow! Although it's certainly possible to be friends, people need to practice responsible behavior, especially if there's any attraction between the two. People don't need to "hide" friends from his/her mate. Happy Monday!
Barbara C. said:If it's possible to be friends with an attractive guy? Sure, it is. But if you're attracted to him already well, then, odds aren't that good. If you find yourself attracted to a man, you no longer feel the desire to be "just friends", do you? Because deep down inside, there's a little urge to go next phase with him. Or am I so wrong? lol
You can be friends with men, I think that's perfectly possible! Friends are friends, but being attracted to other men does not mean you want to be friends with him 100%. It's like your whole body and mind are not capable to be just rational and filter just want you "think" you want. But friendship with the opposite sex? Totally possible and acceptable.
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